Cut the Cord

After the franstresstic day getting ready for German college, I went on the group trip to Freiburg. It was pretty neat sightseeing-wise but the best part of all was the weather. Sure, we got to see the beautiful cathedral, but even better was that it was sixty degrees and sunny. And Häagen Dazs! Does it get any better?
Maybe if someone could tell me how to pronounce Häagen Dazs...

It was a long day though and we didn't get back until eight thirty at night. Yesterday night was also Elke's birthday party so the house was full of people I didn't know and was obligated to sit among until it was acceptable to go to bed. Which turns out to be eleven.

It's imaginable that I was tired, it was a long couple of days filled with constantly being on my feet and doing too much thinking, but if I was sleepy, then my host brother should have been in a coma. Allow me to explain:
Julian is seventeen and very quiet. He's spoken to me on as many occasions as I can count on one hand. The only time I've heard him speak above a mumble is when he's playing on the computer in the basement room next to mine. Which is eighty-two percent of his life.
On Thursday he broke the mold and had some friends over, ... to play video games in the basement room next to mine. They came over around two pm on Thursday and didn't leave until eight pm the next night. For those of you who don't want to pull out a calculator, that's nearly thirty hours of video games.
But they slept, right?
Absolutely not. Elke told me they do this every once in a while, and while she hates it, Julian is an adult here and makes his own life decisions. And he decided to stay up the whole night. I don't know about you guys, but I can't go six hours without some sort of nap.
But they at least ate, right?!
Nope. Elke said she offered them food but they refused to stop and come up. So I guess the whole, "If you don't want to eat it, you must not be hungry enough" ploy doesn't work in Germany. How in the world do they get these kids to eat their vegetables?
Upside is that they didn't skip school at least. This week is Germany's "spring break" which doesn't stop me from having class.
So, after twenty-eight hours of straight video game playing, with no food or sleep Julian also stayed up until eleven at the party. However, when I went to bed he used me as a buffer to excuse himself too. To which he went directly into the computer room in the basement. Talk about dedication.

The Race is On

My time in the Universität Tübingen is coming up fast. Yesterday we became temporary citizens of Germany in Tübingen, registered with the city, the school, the scholarship department, paid for our apartments, and opened a German bank account that we have to fill with six hundred Euros by the thirtieth. No easy task, let me tell you, in a country where you're not allowed to work legally.
I'm usually a pretty relaxed person, but in situations where I have no control over I turn into a freak-out fest. Yesterday I was on the fritz. With little help from native speakers we basically signed our lives away three times in German to contracts we couldn't understand. Let alone the fact I was the only one from my group to not see my apartment or get the key to the place because I live apart from all the other students. It's cool though. I mean, who wants to see where they live after they paid for it, am I right?
Do I still sound stressed? I'll work in a couple of deep breaths.
Whew. Sorry for the whiny blog. I'm sure I'll look back on this and remember it fondly, (At least I got out of a day of school for it...) but right now I'm just frustrated. Appreciation to the people who move to the states and go through our paperwork mountains.
Bis bald.

All's Fair in Fasching

Christmas Eve at my house always brought a visit from Santa Claus. It's a mystery, I know, chalk it up to Christmas magic. One year as we were waiting for him to show up and bring the presents already, the big man surprised all of us kids on the couch by banging on the bay window. One of my brothers started off sitting on the arm of the couch and ended in the lap of another screaming like a howler monkey. Moral of the story: Santa is terrifying to small children.
Now imagine swapping out Jolly Ol' Saint Nick with this:

 My question is how are very small German children not sobbing in terror for the whole six week period of the Fasching season? I attended my first Fasching parade Monday in Horb and it was enough for me. I can't imagine how these people put up with it for so long. I learned that there is at least one parade in a week and all the same things happen every time:
The parade begins and there's a chant the crowd says. It sounds something like Naho, Haribo! I have no idea what I was shouting, but I learned that if a witch comes up to you and you aren't shouting it's like wearing a fanny-pack target on your back. Groups of people dress up like as many horrifying things as they can think of,

Like cheese

run through the streets with... Christmas tree wrappers. Yep. With netting and everything...

Yeah, I saw a kid get thrown in there. He came out like a prepackaged turkey.

buckets of confetti to dump people into and then shove it down their clothes....

The girl this happened to was putting paper slips out of her coat a week later.

 Stocks...

Think 1700's and you've got it.

Or, as weapon of choice these witches chose pig intestines blown into balloons with which they would hit people with. Repeatedly. Until the "balloon" popped.

That's sanitary, right?

Mostly they just run up to unsuspecting girls and...

steal their shoes and throw them over powerlines

put them in cages,

Then spin it.

 pin them to the ground...

and then sandwich them and roll away with them down the street..

There is a girl in there. I swear. The loch ness monster covered her up.

 I pretty much feel like I saw it all. Thankfully only one girl from Michigan got it bad. The worst that happened to her (other than confetti down the shirt, hair musings and being picked up) was being drug into the street and thrown over someones shoulder while being spanked with a rubber paddle. This all happened while I cowered in fear. She didn't mind it though, right Johanna?

Fill in the blank.

 And I was terrified. Even the children were braver than me. There was a two year old next to me in the street waiting politely for some not insane witch to come by and give him some candy (he got an egg.) and one of the witches came up close to him probably trying to steal him he look at her/him and bellowed, "Nein!" and punched the witch in the leg.

Take out his kneecaps!

 That's how the two-year-old deals with a mean witch. I'll try that tactic next time.
Or not.

They gave him back. ...I think.

The biggest conundrum is why this is so acceptable? No one fights it or even acts like they dislike it. They all go along with it and even pay money for it! (It costs two euro to see the parade.)

I guess I shouldn't complain because I made out pretty good. I learned that the witches will steal your hat (I wasn't surprised after that.) So I used it for a bucket and caught candy with it.

 I think I made out pretty good.
Sorry about the long post, but I thought it was interesting to share and more honestly, I wanted you guys to believe me when I say that the Germans here are a little crazy.

Filler Post!

I am working on a pretty intensive post from my Monday day, but unfortunately pieces of it are not ready for publish yet. (Yes, I am anal enough as to refuse posting something and then edit it later. Also I'm pretty sure I can't consider by blog a publication. Anyways...) so you guys are all getting a little filler post since I've been semi-absent.

This weekend was kind of slow. For notable happenings I went to a neighboring town to celebrate the twentieth birthday of a friend where I ate way too much pizza and Toffifee and made good friends with a Swiss girl. Other than that, I wallowed in a pit of tissues and cough drop wrappers and relished the feeling of being sick. Glad that's about over.
Like I've already said, today was really interesting. We got a new teacher who wears skin tight leather pants and makes us do voice exercises (Try shouting Napoleon for a good two minutes accenting the üoooooo. Get's fun after the first awkward ten seconds.) He's like that crazy theater teacher I never had but always wanted! The really great part though I can't tell you because it's not finished yet... I'll just leave you with a nibble:

Excited? I was.

Good morning, Sunshine!

Oh Germany, you are slipping. Even your windows and Walker, Texas Ranger might not keep you afloat through your lack of sleep and insurance claims. When you wake me up at 5:02am with a throat-clenching cold and then again at 6:09am by people playing cow bells, whistles, and vuvuzelas (How I despise the vuvuzelas.) with enough vigor to make a soccer hooligan proud, and then send those same people out again at 6:27am to repeat their little parade. I am sitting in my room just clinging to the ounce of hope I have that you will let me return to sleep for just a few more minutes before I have to crack my eyelids and start worrying about how I am going to afford your ridiculously awesomely expensive insurance that I can only turn down if I never plan on needing it ever again. In my life. Ever.
I have been awake for twenty minutes, dear Germany, and these are the first thoughts you have given me to move forward with in my day.
I kind of want to kick you in the shin.
PS Alles Gute zum Geburtstag, Mom. I tried calling yesterday to say I love you and eat some cake for me.