The Darndest Things

When I was little and I would wake up in the middle of the night, if I had kicked my blankets off I would do this weird thing. I would try and fall asleep without putting the blanket back on. I had woken up because I was cold and couldn't find it, but would try and hold out for as long as possible.

I would imagine that I was homeless and didn't have a blanket.

But it never became a game of how long could I hold out. It was my way of attempting to really understand and comprehend what it would be like to be without a home. I had trouble grasping how difficult it would be, and whenever I caved and pulled my blankets back up under my chin I would solemnly put out good thoughts to all of those sleeping in the night without Little Mermaid sheets. Because it was hard.

Twisted logic and I'm not sure where it came from. I had never seen a homeless person in my rural town. No where in my memory can I recall some movie or show that I remember decidedly acknowledging, "There is a hobo."
The closest I got to the poverty line would be those starving children in China who really needed me to eat my green beans and peas. But starving didn't mean your Grandma couldn't quilt you a blanket.

Funny how now I can't think back and figure out why I did it. I have no idea, honestly beyond considering that my empathetic streak ran exponentially with my baby teeth. I learned in high school biology class that there is a hormonal difference between adult and children's brains. Maybe I've switched to adult brain now and will be forever lost to my inner child.
Though...I still giggle when I hear the word duty, I think it's safe to assume that's not the reason entirely. Hehe. Doody.

But kid brain logic is a warped one. I like it though. It's simple and deep and not yet jaded.
I tutor now. Did I mention that?

I've got three kids and they're...great. They have all got their issues, but I'd fight anyone who says that they're not worth it.

One boy, his story is a laundry list of wrong. When your teacher picks on a student, you know something isn't going right in his life. But we get along well enough. He's only gone catatonic once and we could deal.

He hates reading though, but every hateful thought against reading is made up for in a love of Math and Wrestling. This kid knows more about times tables and Randy Orten than I'll ever have the pleasure, or desire, to experience.

He has an attendance problem though. Mentally and physically. This a boy who can leave his body quicker than you can say boo. When things are going wrong, he shuts down. So I feel accomplished when we read something together and he tries to start a dialogue. Before though, we just had trouble getting him into the classroom until I set up a sticker system. Stickers are like crack to kids. They'll do anything for it. Even attend tutoring.

For every tutoring session he attends, he gets a sticker. For five stickers, he gets a prize. We had settled on a bouncy ball.

In the third session I brought in a book on fish. Sharks, moray eels, puffer fish, we learned about them all. Then we decided which were the deadliest and which we'd like as pets. (I chose the shark, and he suggested I make a moat outside my house so he could guard it.) We spent the remaining time making play-doh fish and chatting...a first for us both.

On our walk back to the classroom, discussing our favorite pizza toppings, he started to lag behind me. "Do you think...I could keep this book", he motioned to my fish book. Unfortunately it's a library book so I had to say no.
"Do you think if I get all my stickers that instead of a ball, I could maybe have a book?" Now that he started it was a floodgate opening.
"It could be about fish," he went on, "or wrestling...or stuff. I could tell you where to find a good book. Especially ones about wrestling."

Kid logic. I would buy you a library little man.

Still give you the bouncy ball, too.