Where the Hölle is Rebecca?

I have to go grocery shopping soon. I've been in Germany what? Five times now over the course of a few years and each time I need to go out I still prep myself.

The inner monoloque goes something like this:
You want to go buy some pineapple at the fruit market. Do you know how to say 'pineapple'? 
Yes. Yes I think so. Ananas, right?    I scoot off to my online dictionary.
 Yep, Ananas. Oh jesus, what's the plural? 
Probably something like Anananana. I don't know. Just buy one. That'll work, then you'll never need to know. Hey, hey, by the way. Where's your friends who speak much better German than you? Yeah them. Go find them. Get them to order for you. I mean, just to be on the safe side...

Last year, once I got back in the states from my first real stint in Germany, I would catch myself walking up the line in fast food joints slowly preparing myself for what to say. Do I want fries? Yes I think I want fries... Internally digesting exactly what I'd like to order and neurotically prepping for any slight diversion from the accustomary and sweet ABA cashier-customer exchange.
A, "How can I help you?"
B"Oh yes, I'd like XYZ, please. Thank you." Hand over cash.
A "There you go. Have a nice day."
Anything went ary from my script and Boom! I'm hosed. Then I actually have to think. Freestyle. The horror.

By all means, let's imagine how this guy, Matt, feels when he goes to various countries and asks people to dance on film with him. "Yeah, just teach me how to dance. Yep, right here. No big deal, I'll do it with you before I post it all over the interwebs for billions of people to see." How many shamefull rejections do you think he's gotten before he edited together this video? Gives me a bit of faith. I mean it, check that guy shake his tailfeathers in Haiti. Daaang. It's all about faking it and making it look good, and look at how that little bit of effort sticks.
 I suppose I can suck it up and go buy some pineapple now. For safety's sake though, I'd better bring along my pocket dictionary in case I want to buy some avacados. Or ask someone to breakdance with me. You never know.