The Who

There's this crazy thing that always happens to me when I meet new people that bemuses me to no end. It's giggle-worthy to the max and sometimes out and downright laughable. For kicks, I like to ask people about it after they get to know me a little better, because it's always fun to hear what people assume about me when they meet me for the first time. Perception is reality.

This is average everyday me. Sitting in front of my laptop, book on my lap, twisting my hair as I always have since childhood. Seriously if you don't believe me, go to my home, walk up the stairs until you get to the upper hall near the piano. On the wall will be a picture of me and my siblings in a cornflower blue frame where I am wrapping my hair around my finger in this exact way. It's like an uncontrollable tic.

Sorry, tangent. Anyways, it's pretty unassuming, right? Just some college kid sitting around in her pajamas. 

Let's take a look at the board, one hundred people polled and the most common answer for personality traits for this girl is...
Angry. 

Oh, ouch.

Let me just clarify; I'm by no means a violent person, but if you happen to meet me when I'm ranting about how yes, Pearl Jam is better than your hogwash television show where kids from high school sing versions of Pearl Jam songs, then there is a slight chance I could come off as, shall we say, disgruntled. Not that I'm speaking from any sort of experience or anything...*ahem*.

So I can deal with the angry assumptions, not everyone can have their best face forward all the time, but take a gander at some other assumptions about me:

Conservative. Just because I attended Catholic middle school does not mean that I am awash in the Bible-thumpin', neat-tucked, tax-cutting friends of the so-called right wing. And I shouldn't even tell you when the last time I attended church was. My grandma might read this.

Vegetarian. Say it with me, cows are tasty. And really? Vegetarian?! I worked at a taxidermist for four years of my life for goodness sake. This one makes me laugh outright because people don't even ask. On three separate occasions by three separate people this has happened, "You're vegetarian, right?" Not even a question. That's a confirmation statement. I know you're vegetarian, but clarify that one for me. Here's the kicker, in one instance, I had literally just finished eating fried chicken with the question asker. Yup, that's me, the chicken-eating tree hugger. (Granted my major is an environmental program, but so is the kids' who test the beach water for E.Coli.)

And last, but oh no, certainly not least:
Lesbian.  Sometimes even in combination as Angry Lesbian. I've been told this one has to do with my hair cut. Short hair immediately translates to lovin' the ladies, I guess. Then again, I've also been told that my long hair makes me look even more religious, so I guess I can't win this one. The fun thing is, it always ALWAYS comes from guys. Which is a minor bummer, the guys reject me for a happy clam and truth be  told, I've never even had a girl hit on me before. To gentleman I appear to be way off target and for the girlies I'm not even an attractive lesbian look-alike. That's disheartening.

Just some observations I've made during my lifetime. I am an angry, meat-shunning, conservative lesbian. If what you see is what you get, then boy-o am I handful.