Eau de Skunk

You know the stinky kid? The one you sat next to in school but were too nice to tell them to shower so you gave them subtle gifts like scented shower gel and gum. If you don't know which kid I'm referring to, then you were that kid in school.
Every school has a stinky kid.
Fact.

 I am that stinky kid now.

And it stinks.

Waking up early this morning to a dog digging around in our trash bins outside my window did not rate high on my list of things to do, yet there it is. The owners came running not far behind telling "Kelly" to stop and get away from there. Next second skunkness was all I could taste. Not even smell, but taste, it was so strong. I just assume that mischevious Kelly got into it with one outside my window. Silly Kelly. I put my blankets over my head and tried to get back to sleep.

This morning the entire apartment reaks. My sheets, towels, clothes, and jacket are all permeated with skunk smell. Walking into the hallway it just gets worse but funnily enough outside you don't smell anything. I think the skunk went down under the foundation of the house.
And died.
Below my bedroom.
Showering doesn't make a difference because, well for one thing, when has a shower ever helped skunk smell and for another what does it matter if the towel I dry with smells like butt and the clothes do too? Smellyness just wafts around and doesn't go anywhere. Forget opening the door because it smells worse out there. I am sitting in a nearly tangible cloud of stink. It's permanently embedded at the back of my throat.

So I have to go to class and sit in the midst of normal smelling people and wait for the scent to follow behind me before they start to unconsciously look around and twitch their noses, ferretting out the source of the uck that just came in. I might as well just have the cartoon squiggles above my head.

I've never felt like I could relate to Pigpen so much. Or Pepe la pui. He seems like a someone that would understand.

Metaphorically speaking this fits in with my mood perfectly, the irony of the situation is how much I wish it didn't. Only a couple more days and school will stop being so crappy. Two major exams will be out of the way and hopefully I will have a term paper finished. I just hope the smell decides to make its way with the mood.

On a completely unrelated note, anyone know how to get skunk smell from out of the air, just short of Febreezing it with tomato paste?