"Mom, does she have to fly back to Germany tonight?"

Culture Shock
The term, culture shock, was introduced for the first time in 1958 to describe the anxiety produced when a person moves to a completely new environment. This term expresses the lack of direction, the feeling of not knowing what to do or how to do things in a new environment, and not knowing what is appropriate or inappropriate.

To put it eloquently, that is how I feel. I'll be fine, though. That's not a choice in the matter, I have school in a couple weeks, jobs to work, meals to cook, there's no time to be lacking a direction. 

It's not that I hate being home. I do well in both situations, I just feel very Jekyll and Hyde. Living two lives and not wanting to favor one over the other.
Don't pick favorites, but people keep asking me when am I going back.
How long are you here for? Just a stay at home before going back? Look guys, I'm not going to pick between here and Germany, but if you want to choose for me... I went to visit a friend and as I left, one of her girls asked her, "Momma, does she have to fly back to Germany tonight?"

Do I have to fly back tonight? Can I go back tonight? I was so worried about leaving last year, offending someone, or placing a burden on my family and now it seems like people are just waiting for me to peace out.

Rebecca has left the building.

Not yet. I still have a lot of life to live here.

IF I could--notice the if--I would mix up my lives. Like a giant wedding cake where I can pick the layers from what I want best. Could I get a slice of the great public transportation with seeing my family as the frosting?

Well now I just want cake.